The Family
As a child, I was the youngest in my family. Though I did not always speak up, I was always watching, listening and seeing what my family did. I studied their actions, and reactions and learned from their mistakes. I watched my parents and based off of their actions I formed my own understanding. Their is no greater impact to a child’s life then their parents, unless the parents surrender that power.
My parents have made mistakes in raising me. Their human. I have made mistakes in living my life. I am human. Only in our failures, we as a family have the choice to run and hide from each-other or we can stand together as a family.
I have spent a lot of time studying our culture and world; I am convinced that all of the world’s biggest problems can be fixed by the family. Marriage, as is described by the bible is more then two people just having a physical relationship. It is two people who decided to work hard and fight for one another. That fight, that willingness to do anything possible is God’s love for us. And that is the fight our world (children) needs to see.
The church and the family share a lot in common. To our society it is easy to just walk away. The world makes it easy, quick and painless. Only when a family walks away from each other they allow others to walk in. Satan wants us to give up when things get hard and difficult. Only the family that God calls us to be is a family that runs to one another in their time of need and joy.
We are not guaranteed a pain free life. But we should never have to walk alone. When God said that “it was not good for man to be alone” he was not insisting men tend to get themselves into trouble, he was reminding us that we where not created to be alone. He created male and female so that God’s designed family could model the Christian life for the world.
DO NOT Outsource!!
Today we outsource everything. We are willing to pay others who are “trained” because we feel that professionals can do a better job then us. We get a rip in our jeans, we buy a new pair. If we burn our dinner, we order deliver. If our car needs two new tires, we take it to the tire shop. We want the best education for our child, we pay for trained, teachers. Only there are two things we can not outsource. Relationships and Spiritual formation...which happen to be two major issues in todays society.
Parents parenting, must be the foundation of any Family ministry. I am a trained professional, I have spent hours in classes and have read hundred of books on child development and studying different family strategies. My education has even prepared me to be able to observer children and know the parenting strategies use by the different parents at home. Yet this does not mean I know whats best for your child. Saying so would be foolish because I am not the parent. According to God’s design the parents are best suited to form the physical, emotional and spiritual foundations in their children. And the way that they do, is by modeling it in their lives. Not being perfect, but living under God’s grace with a identity in him.
Pillars of Family Ministry
Encourage - Families do not come with instructions, and its impossible to always know what the right thing to do is. Church shouldn’t be a place that tells you what to do, but encourages you to do whatever it takes.
Empower - At times it will be easy, yet that does not mean it will always be easy. Church needs to be a place where families are empowered in times of great struggles/pain and all the good moments.
Provide - Family Ministry should provide resources that help grow and support the family.
Protect - Satan is at war with us. He will do anything to win. Yet if we stand together in christ, its hard for us to slip by.
Strengthen - Every person is different. Every marriage is different. Every child is different. There is never just one way to do anything. But we can all improve and the church should do anything to help.
Support - Families should never have to stand alone. Church has to provide a community that seeks to support the family.
My Role
I feel that its important to state this; I will never say “here is how you do it”, “your doing it wrong”, “this is the correct way” when dealing with the family. I am in my twenties, I am not married, I do not have kids, I do not know the best way. Only even if I was in my fifties, had been married for twenty years and my kids were all heading off to college, I still wouldn’t know the best way.
The role of a Family Minister is provided resources and help to the families in the community. My goal is to walk alongside parents during the good times and bad. The minister should develop mentoring groups to allow younger families walk along older families. Their will come times when parents will need a break from their kids, there will also be times when the family will need a break from the world, a good family ministry is prepared for just these times.
